Wed May 18th - Tampere, FI @ VV-Klubi

"Jussi! Tampere!"

I was glad to finally get in the van and head towards the first show. The day had been just a big stupid hassle up until then. We had picked the Rotors up at the airport with Vellu the day before and pretty much gone straight to the bar. After that I still had to take care of a lot of stuff before leaving because it's impossible for me to get anything done before the very very last chance. So I went on this tour burned out from day one. Story of my life.
There were eight of us, Hero Dishonest which means yours truly on the bass, Vellu the singer, Jussi the drummer and Mikko the guitarist as well as Fourth Rotor who go by the names Doug - guitar, Kammy - drums and Jake - bass. The eighth guy was Shawn, Fourth Rotors merch guy and roadie from Canada who is also a talented photographer with a long history in the underground music scene. We had met the Rotors on our last tour in the US where we played a show with them in their hometown Chicago. I remember getting into their complex yet rocking songs, and got their record at the show but didn't really talk to them or anything. I guess the others did since somehow we'd ended up in a van together just half a year later.
The ride to Tampere went fast, and we got to the club well in time eventhough we had left pretty late. We picked up some equipment on the way that belonged to an italian band called Thrash Brigade who had been just added to the bill. The fourth band to play was Sons of Saturn from France, we had played with them before as well.
Vastavirta Klubi, the venue, is a pretty new place, around since january 2005. It's probably the best place going on in Finland right now: a bar, internet, lots of zines to read and a perfect sized stage for live shows at least twice a week. Bands get treated well and the people running the place are dedicated music fans. I always feel good playing there.
While waiting for the show the americans had a chance to go to a sauna which Jake and Doug did. They seemed pretty excited about it. I don't really remember too much of anything else, I was tired as fuck and just wanted to play. Thrash Brigade were great. I probably don't need to describe the music, do I? They put on a very energetic show. The Rotors played next and did very good, we were up next. I used the french bands bass rig which was amazing. I felt like stealing it. It was some 70's amp and a couple of cabinets of the same brand, "Acoustic", which I had never heard of but loved playing. The show itself was a typical first night, like a one-off show. Always fun but theres something missing compared to an early or mid-tour show. There were so many cameras in the audience that it was ridiculous. Everyone seemed to be taking pictures of our pretty faces. We played some bad Oi! as an encore. The Sons of Saturn were really not my bag but very, very good at what they do. We didn't watch their entire set because we wanted to get some sleep. The drive back to Helsinki was a nightmare, I was honestly one deep breath away from falling asleep at the wheel while the others slept comfortably. Bastards. I don't remember getting home, but it must've been around six am.

Thu 19.5 Riga, LA @ Club Depo

Sleep, what's that?

After about two hours of sleep, give or take, the clock rang and it was time to go. My vision got blurry when I tried to get up, but I managed to do it anyway and walked to the meeting point, Vellu's girlfriends place. Eight o'clock, no-one there. Wait. Finally people start showing up and we get to navigate through the morning rush hour traffic with about 20 minutes until the ferry leaves. Anyone familiar with Helsinki can imagine driving from Kallio to Länsisatama in that time. We literally got in at the last second, which was a small miracle performed by Mikko who was driving. I was certain we were going to miss the boat.
It was a beautiful sunny day, perfect for making the four hour trip over the gulf of Finland to Tallinn, Estonia. Some of us got to the ships breakfast buffet while Vellu and Shawn just slept on the aisles somewhere. Finding Vellu was hilarious, he was sleeping in a corner in front of the buffets entrance with people looking at him with disapproving faces. They probably thought he was drunk.
We didn't waste time in Tallinn and headed towards Latvia immediatelly. Like most of the drives on this tour, this one was pretty short and easy. We stopped in Pärnu where I got a good sleeping bag dirt cheap. We also made a stop on the beautiful beaches near the Latvia border.
I remembered the way to the club easily from the last time I was there in 2003. It's right in the centrum of Riga on the edge of the old town. There were a bunch of kids hanging out in front of the club but neither the promoter nor the owner were there yet. So we just parked the van somewhere and went for a walk.
Having been to Riga several times before I got tired of walking around the centrum after a while and decided to go for a beer with Jake. We looked for a good bar for a while but eventually settled on the bar of the hostel across the street from the club. We had a couple of pints while Jake told me about their last time in europe and such. After that we went to the club for soundcheck and food.
So like I said, it was my second time at the Depo, my first had been a couple of years earlier as a roadie for a band called Fun. The place didn't impress me back then but this time around I didn't think it was half bad. Good sound system, nice stage, cool atmosphere. A bar upstairs and a venue downstairs built into a rough looking basement pub. We played with a local band who opened. The audience seemed into them and they played very well. Metal riffs and screamo vocals, not my cup of tea. We were next, it was an ok show. Fourth Rotor did pretty good as well, getting a few kids to dance.
After the show we were all dead tired, loading the van and getting out of the closed street where the club was was a hassle. The girl whose place we stayed at had to leave at nine in the morning so there wasn't much time to sleep, I think we left the club at 2.30.
The apartment was located in a cluster of big, grey, eastern european style blocks of flats. I slept on the floor in my new sleeping bag, wearing a toque and some earplugs.

Fri 20.5: Vilnius, LT@the Green Club

Vilnius: A reason to live

If you asked me to name one thing that best sums up touring my answer would be lack of sleep. After four hours of deep dark sleep without dreaming, someone kicked me and told me to get up. Breakfast... Waiting... We eventually left the flat about half an hour late. We had a lot of time to kill so we went walking around the city and to eat at a Krishna restaurant. Whoever said vegetarian food has to be healthy? The funniest thing was seeing the chef walk out of the kitchen wearing a t-shirt that said "Super Premium Pet Foods"! Yum! We also found a cafe called "Perse" (ass in finnish) and paid a visit to a music store where Jussi got some new drum sticks.
I did the driving to Vilnius while most of the others got drunk in the back. We stopped at the border to get rid of our spare change and well... alcohol is very cheap in Latvia! Vellu had got into a weird habit of getting drunk on afternoons and then sobering up before the show. But today most were doing it. So I listened to how they got a bit drunk and really loud, and after a while just fell asleep almost at the same time. By the time we got to Vilnius I was the only one awake.
We found the club ok, made a couple of wrong turns but got there well in time. The venue was the new Green Club, the old one had burned down. The show was put up by Thomas from Dr.Green, a longtime veteran of the Lithuanian punk scene. The surroundins of the place looked really run down, the space itself was pretty nice. Cold and dusty but the hall was big and the stage was very open, perfect height and visibility. A nice place to play. They also had a bar where we set up distro and ate before soundcheck.
Before the show we hung around the club while the audience steadily grew bigger and bigger. By the time we went on there were about two hundred paid. The Rotors played first and seemed to do a good show, I watched the first half. The second was spent writing set lists and changing clothes in the van.
When setting up for the show some drunken guy provided us entertainment by screaming "White power! Punk no die! Oi Oi Oi!" and other gems like that. The locals seemed so amused that I doubt the guy was really a bonehead, he was probably just taking the piss out of us. The show itself was a blast, the floor was boiling and we got called back twice. Despite the outrageous sleep deprivation I loved playing there.
After the show I had a couple of beers with Vellu, Doug and Cammy while Jussi and Jake were making friends outside. There was a nice party outside and the people seemed to be in good spirits. They actually cheered when we drove off.
We stayed in a commune where a guy called Dennis lived. His roommate had a self made calendar on the wall that said "Hero Dishonest: Reason to live" and a countdown to our show where he had been counting off days for a month! They also had an anti american bathroom which the Rotors found funny and took lots of pictures of. Jake started planning an anti-Lithuanian toilet for his home. I was getting into the idea of partying but no-one was interested in drinking any more so we just went to sleep. And we slept well. Bah.

Sat 21.5 Kaunas, LT @ Kreuzhaus

Concrete city

Since the beginning of the tour the van had been making weird noises that we suspected were caused by an old alternator belt. But now it had also started making weird noises while braking, and when pushing the brakes at high speed it tilted heavily to the right. As longtime owners of shitty vans we knew that the brakepieces were worn out and had to be replaced before venturing into the land that traffic laws forgot: Poland. I volunteered to take the van to the shop with Thomas while the rest went to play soccer against the Vilnius kids. I make a point of not playing any game where my estimated chances of winning are less than 75%.
The repairs took forever and they kept finding more stuff to fix. Meanwhile Thomas and I drank coffee and sat on the lawn, it was a warm and sunny day. By the time we got out of the place we were already in a major hurry to get to Kaunas and drove to pick the others up at a restaurant.
They didn't seem in a hurry, drinking and eating with the locals and generally enjoying themselves. What the hell then, I got a beer and some food before leaving as well.
I've never really been to Kaunas before, if you don't count stopping at a supermarket, but I've always been fascinated by how it looks. The place is a completely illogical mess of grey concrete buildings smacked here and there, with trees growing at seemingly random places. The club was at a bar in the university campus that looked like the rest of the city. We were late, so we unloaded the van at once and let the local band do their soundcheck and play. When starting to unload we noticed that the back door of the van had been half open for the entire trip.
It was a nice day and the crowd was hanging outside so we went there as well. They looked pretty young and I was concerned that most of them would probably not be allowed in the bar, I guess most of them got in eventually. The local band played and I checked them out briefly but preferred listening to them outside.
We played next, it was ok. Nothing compared to the night before. I don't know if the small crowd was into us or not. After the show I got a beer and watched Fourth Rotor. They seemed to have fun and definitely rocked.
The rest of the night was the usual fare. Jussi and Jake were off on one of their mysterious trips, Mikko and Shawn did merch and the rest of us did some drinking. We had a vote on the weirdest member of each band: Jake won the title of the weirdest Rotor while they had to choose between Mikko and Vellu. Eventually they settled on Mikko(who by the way is the most together of us upstairs ). This was early on the tour though, I'm sure by the end they thought all of us were freaks.
Jussi and Jake were off for a long time and missed loading the van, I think I did for the most part as well. We stayed in one of the concrete monsters at the organizers place. He was also called Thomas. We took the stuff in while Mikko and Thomas went to park the car somewhere safe. The parking lot next to the house didn't seem like an option since there were several cars that had been broken into and Thomas said it would not be wise to leave our stuff there. Apparently the neighborhood was a bit rough, Mikko and Thomas had got into a little trouble with drunken locals while walking back to the apartment.
The place didn't have a party going on much to my disappointment. Two people were listening to Endstand in their room and that's it. Shawns dad had a birthday so he called him and we sang happy birthday to him. We ate and went to sleep.

Sun 22.5 Bialystok, PL @ Decentrum

Trouble with autopapier

I woke up first and took a shower, my first one of the tour. God it felt good! The others started waking up and having breakfast. I had nothing to eat so I had some leftover rice with ketchup. Worst. Breakfast. Evar. After that I left to get the van with Doug and Mikko.
It was a very hot and sunny day. The neighborhood was just a huge green field with the concrete blocks scattered all over. "I just love what the Soviets could do with a slob of concrete!" commented Doug. He had taken the train through Siberia, from Moscow to Beijing, the year before and said every single city there looked the same. Walking to the guarded parking lot we would see the occasional family house inbetween some of the buildings, but they were just randomly put there without any logic whatsoever. The only thing that made sense was the liquor store in the corner of one of the giant grey eyesores. They must do good business.
We got to the van which had been in direct sunlight all morning and was of course unbelievably hot. We picked the others up and started driving towards the polish border.
We got there and handed over our passports. I was sitting in the back and Jussi was driving. "Ok, autopapier!" said the border guard wanting to see the registration papers of the van. Jussi opened the case and couldn't find it. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKSHITPISSCUNTFUCK!!!! I immediatelly realized where the fucking autopapier was: at the repair shop in Vilnius! They must've forgot to give it back to Thomas when he paid for the repairs. At that point I had been waiting in the van just thinking about hitting the road as soon as possible. "No autopapier, no get into Poland!" said the border guard. I felt like eating the entire contents of my medicine bag, jumping under an 18-wheeler, swallowing a few shotgun rounds and jumping off a rooftop all at the same time. Not to mention very ashamed about forgetting to ask for the papers. The others were bummed but understood the situation and didn't seem pissed off at me. Everyone remained calm and started pondering our options. First thing we did was call Thomas in Vilnius and asked him to find out how we could get the papers to us. A fax wasn't good enough, they needed the actual document. Driving back to Vilnius would have meant missing the show so that was the last option. Shawn suggested that we call Bialystok, ask someone there to pick us up while he'll wait at the border for the papers. It was sunday after all and we figured getting the papers that day was out of the question. Wrong! The repair shop happened to be about the only one in Vilnius that was open seven days a week! Thomas went out of his way to help us and promised to pick up the papers and drive to the border. It would take three-four hours and making the show would still be tough but we would get to Poland on the same day. There was a bar at the border so that made things slightly easier. We mostly played frisbee, took pictures and drank while we waited for Thomas to show up. By the time he did it was seven oclock, we gave him all the money we had and left for Bialystok. Eventhough the drive didn't seem long on the map it would take some time because it was Poland. Where small two lane backroads are used like six lane autobahns. Where you have to drive through every single city instead of passing them by. Where driving school consists solely of chanting the mantra "Me first, faster, now!" without end. Yep, Poland! I continued drinking beer with Jussi for the rest of the ride as the sun set and the clock was ticking.
By the time we reached Bialystok it was already dark. Luckily finding the squat was easy thanks to Dougs laptop. He had downloaded the directions to the clubs for eastern european countries before leaving, and for the western european countries he actually had a navigating program.
The stage was on the top floor of the extremely uninviting looking squat. It was a huge grey building with burnmarks here and there and the windows nailed shut. We drove the van into a dark garage and started unloading some of our stuff. Luckily we got to share the backline, so we didn't have to carry everything since it was five floors up. But just getting the basic drum equipment there was torture. Easpa Measa, an Irish band we had toured the UK with the year before, were just finishing their set as we got there. It was great to see them again. Byrneo, their bass player greeted me by saying "It's nice to see you wear some fucking clothes for a change!" They were on an insane four-month european tour, with two months on the road behind them. Those crazy kids and their popular music.
While I was looking for the others some guy kept bumping into me and coughing loudly. He did that a couple of times until I recognized him in the darkness: fucking Luke! He had been our roadie for the UK tour and we had no idea he was in Poland! The night was starting to look fun.
Before we went on a band called Silence played, they did heavy and dark crust very well. I'm not into that kind of stuff but the guys were very good musicians and sounded great. Fourth Rotor played their best show so far, the crowd was really into them. Doug speaks some Polish so everything he said to the audience was in their native language which obviously got them excited from the beginning. I don't know what he said though, probably "We are on tour with a bunch of retarded, smelly, immature, washed up old men from Finland" or something. Anyway they were on fire and the crowd loved them, they were hard to follow.
We played last and it was a very good show. I was a bit drunk which was weird because I had never played a Hero Dishonest show drunk before this. It went well however and the energy level was high on both sides of the stage. Well there wasn't really a stage but you know what I mean. I fucking loved playing there.
The rest of the night was beer, disco, sitting on the roof , chanching tour stories with Easpa Measa and generally having fun. The toilets made us want to puke. Didn't get too much sleep that night, I think I went to sleep at four and some of us even later.

Mon 22.5: Warsaw, PL @ Post-apocalyptic pile of rubble (aka.squat Fabryka)

The never ending show

In the morning Mikko and I went for coffee, then it was time to load the van and drive to Warsaw. There was a mysterious cloud of urine smell floating around the garage which made Shawn visibly nauseous. We figured it was a ghost of some crusty punk that's haunting bands who play there. Looking at the squat in full daylight we noticed that the area surrounding it was full of new higher-income apartment buildings that had literally been built wall to wall with the squat. Five euros says it's not gonna be there in three years. The squatters seemed prepared to defend it though, the aisle was filled with shields and clubs built out of whatever they could think of. These people obviously need a lot of guns. You should send some to them! Or maybe a benefit show? "Gun Aid", anyone? (update nov.2005: they got evicted a month ago... I hope the crustghost will haunt the new inhabitants like a motherfucker! )
We started driving early because of a nazi attack they were expecting in Warsaw. We were told that the local punks had attacked a nazi show a week or so before and were expecting part II: the revenge of the skinhead menace to happen at this show.
So we got there in the afternoon and what we saw made us suspect that the nazis had already been there, from the looks of it in 1939! The place looked like it had been bombed into rubble with a few walls standing here and there and only one building, the squat,
was somewhat intact. So we got our stuff in, hid the van (very poorly) and started waiting for the show. Going out on town was out of the question because of the alleged danger and the toilets of course didn't work. Visiting squats has actually taught me what holds this system together. Working toilets! If we destroyed all toilets the world would be turned into a squat and we'd have anarchy and shit (literally).
So the day was a giant bore. We ate soy with soy in soy sauce. I suspect the rice was a rice-like substitute made out of soy. I felt like being a smartass and inquiring if the food was vegan but didn't. Aside from that we sat on the roof of the squat looking at the Warsaw skyline and cursing the nazis. The problem with nazis today is that you just can't depend on them! How are they going to have the Fourth Reich if they're too lazy to attack old buildings without working toilets? Those bastards would probably try to fix them...*
There were 8000 bands playing and the show started at ten or eleven. It was supposed to start at eight but nothing worked at that time. Jussi the social one was already drinking and making new friends while the others were basically bored and tired. I was kind of enjoying the weird setting and situation but was too tired to really party or anything. Easpa Measa showed up with Luke and we hung out with them on the roof. Their bassplayer did a hilarious imitation of Vellu and told us how he loved being in Germany. When we pointed out we were in Poland he commented "Really? I learned in school that the Germans took over Poland! Then I went for a pint so I don't know what happened after that...".
I think Silence played first, after that it was some band, then Fourth Rotor. Again, despite being out of place in crustland they got the crowd into them. Easpa Measa were next and they blew the place up. They were clearly the best band of the evening and the crowd loved them. Everyone in the band was crowsurfing at some point, including the drummer! Some guys just went behind the drums and lifted him up in the middle of a song. That's why I think EM stands out in their genre: eventhough their music is dark and crusty, they have a punk attitude and an overwhelming positive energy about them when they play live, it's impossible not to smile watching them. Great, great show.
After that I think it was our turn, it was like 1 am at that point. Right before we played Luke transformed into MC Positive Bastard and did a rap song called "Crazy in Warsaw rite now" which got everyone dancing and singing along. Our show? Well we fucking sucked! Partly because of the long day, partly because of the alcohol consumed we played extremely sloppy. But luckily most people in the crowd were too fucked up to notice and the show turned out fun. A great audience saved a potential disaster. Last time we played with Easpa Measa we had pulled a prank on them, we stormed the stage in our underwear. This time we had three completely naked guys invade our stage and thrashing in the pit! We love that! Thanks!
After us it was some band, then a spanish band called Madame Germen. They were supposed to finish the show but two more bands showed up at which point we just left. Every band was using our backline so we had to leave it there but Jussi was in a party mood and stayed at the squat with Luke. We went to sleep at some cute girls place. It was very nice of her to have seven smelly, snoring foreigners sleep on her floor before a work day. My sleeping bags brand was "Scandinavia" and Vellu wrote "Mr." on top of it. That's what I was called for the rest of the tour. I wish I was called that in real life. Slept well for a few hours. Oh yeah, the nazis never came. And I'm sure the show is still going on at the Fabryka. (update nov.2005: they got evicted a month ago)

Tue 23.5 Wroclaw, PL @ Wagon Club

The Stoned Soundman

Our morning: Woke up way too soon. Took a shower with no hot water. Brrrrr... Went to an internet cafe in the centrum, ate pizza and falafels. Jussis morning: Wakes up drunk on a couch in the squat, sees a dog licking a pool of blood that was left there during the night, when some guy pretty much cut off his finger with broken glass, and doctor DIY tried to salvage him. We got there and loaded the van. Luke parted ways with Easpa Measa and came to Wroclaw with us.
I drove for the first part of the trip. Finding our way out of Warsaw was hell and I was pissed off. I got directions from an extremely rude cunt at a gas station, it turned out to be a massive detour. I remembered making the same mistake in Warsaw before and insisted that I knew the right way but the others decided to believe the locals. How stupid of them. The second longest drive of the tour got even longer. We still arrived at the club in time.
Mokry from Infekcja was doing the show and he was waiting for us there. It was a pretty nice basement club, a welcome change from squatworld! We set up and did a check, we were playing first and the Rotors were closing. There weren't too many people there and the soundman was probably stoned, doing everything in his power to fuck up the show. Feedback hell to a bunch of disinterested kids. I don't blame them. A fucking horrible show, definitely a lowpoint of the tour.
The Rotors did somewhat better. We had unplugged the monitors to keep them from feedbacking. The soundguy replugged them at some point making everything screech again but Vellu saved the day by promptly unplugging them again. They closed with a cover song called Newtime by _____________ which I really liked, it was nice to hear Doug and Jake singing harmonies and shit. They sounded a bit like Flip Your Wig/Candyapplegrey-era Husker Du.
We ate and had a few beers in the garden outside, the food was excellent. Best meal of the tour award goes to Wroclaw! We split up in a party group and a sleeping group. I was already out of the van, going to the party when a voice of reason told me I should take it easy and go to the sleeping place. Vellu, Jussi, Luke and Jake stayed while we went to this guy Mokry's place. I got a few beers from the gas station and chatted a while with Doug and Cammy before going to sleep. I ended up getting pretty drunk anyway.

Wed 24.5 Bnfsbfb Nfnfnfhrdcw, CZ @ El Diablo

"WHAT?! CRACK COCAINE?!"

We met the others at Mokry's place for a picnic in the park. Luke had already left so it was us, Mokry and his girlfriend. It was a very hot day but the drive wouldn't be too long. I heard the party had been pretty small but fun. The funniest thing that had happened was when Mokry apologised someone for not scoring any weed for them and Luke replied "Never mind the pot, just get us some crack!". He didn't understand it was a joke and started putting his clothes on angrily saying "What?!! You want me to go to the park and find crack cocaine for you at this hour?!" while they tried to calm him down telling him it was just a joke.
We crossed the border without problems and arrived in Hradec Karlowa (I think it was called something like that...). It was a beautiful little town, the locals were visibly amused by our dusty and rusty van. We had a lot of trouble finding the club but got there eventually. Once there we saw a big graffitti dedicated to Hero Dishonest, courtesy of the guys in Frivolvol, who had played there a month before. Funny.
The club was a damp heavy metal club with pictures of the dark lord satan all over the walls. Their sound system was ok but the stage sound was really weird, it made the instruments sound completely different than what came out of the pa. The first band was a local one, probably the worst band I saw on the tour. Ridiculous noise with no musical skill whatsoever. They reminded me a lot of my first high school band. They probably had a blast playing although they fucked up Jussis drums pretty bad. Vellu said they had an excellent guitar sound. Who cares.
Fourth Rotor played second, then us. Again, the p.a kept giving us problems, one of Jussis drum mikes got fucked up and kept making this horrible noise that overshadowed everything else. We proceeded playing without the small tom miked. The crowd was weird, they didn't seem like they were interested at all and once we stopped they started demanding for an encore several minutes after we left the stage! I don't remember if we did or not at that point.
What else happened? Some girl wanted to marry Doug, I finally let everyone know that I SUCK at kicker and haven't played it in my ENTIRE LIFE! How's that for lost punk points?

Thu 25.5 Prague, CZ @ 007

Beer and tits

In the morning I woke up to the sound of my breathing which sounded like Darth Vader on helium. It was then that I realized I really need to quit smoking. But it was nice to wake up early today. Why? Prague! Yeah I know, nowadays it's very tourist oriented compared to how exciting it was during the last decade but still, it beats most places out there. That's the thing with eastern european cities. There's a point when the newfound western influence collides with the unique eastern european atmosphere and that perfect crossing point is really interesting. After that they gradually transform into any other large western city and eventually lose some of the local color. But still Prague didn't disappoint. Actually the mall-like atmosphere of the centrum had somewhat toned down since my last visit there and hey, who doesn't love czech beer and absolutely drop dead beautiful women? Jussi actually asked a lot of them directions just to talk to them, he didn't really wanna go anywhere. Vellu and I went for beer and pizza, both excellent. Then we sat in the park next to the railway station looking at girls and drinking more beer. Best. Day. Evar.
We met with the organizer Pavel, and drove to the club. The club was up on the hills of Prague next to the Strahov stadium and hostels, the van had a hard time making it up there. We unloaded and waited as usual. The place had the best soundman ever, he basically took five seconds to check the levels of each instument and everything sounded fine! The club was nice as well eventhough we had to pay for our beer. Like 20 cents a bottle.
It was just the two bands playing again, we played first and did fine. Crowd was ok and seemed into it, the sound was perfect. The Rotors were in fine form as well. After the show it was nothing special, we drove to the place we stayed in. The neighborhood was unsafe so Jussi slept in the van, he actually volunteered because he had needs. The rest of us slept in the roomy apartment and had a good nights sleep.

Fri 26.5 Chemnitz, D @ the Crass pub

Brave, or just stupid?

"Germany rocks" - Matt Sinner of Sinner

We were supposed to go to a church made entirely of bones but had to take the van to a repair shop first. The alternator had been giving us trouble since day one and the noise kept getting worse and worse. And the radiator was leaking. We found one place but the mechanic wasn't there yet and we had to wait. Eventually he got there and concluded we were really brave to drive a van like that all the way from Finland. He couldn't really fix the alternator, which was hanging loose completely unattached to the engine, but he tied it to it so it worked as a temporary solution. He also fixed the leak in the radiator. After five hours of waiting we got to leave. At that point we had to skip seeing the church and head straight for the show. The van had a hard time making it through the hills that mark the border of Germany.
On the way we got a phone call from our polish friend Hubert whose band Alienacja was playing with us tonight. Their car had broken down in Dresden and they needed a ride. We agreed to help them out since Dresden was only 65 km away from Chemnitz. We dropped our stuff off at the squat where the bar was and left to get them with Mikko. It went fast and easy and we found the guys despite their directions.
So like I said the pub was in a squat that was semi-legalized I guess. The yard had a big bonfire with punks drinking around it. I just knew I was going to get extremely drunk here. The show was set up by a guy called Rene, who had been with us for a part of our 2004 tour of Finland with Out Cold, a hardcore band from Boston, MA. I chatted with him and his friends for a while before seeing Alienacja. They were very metal and had an amazing guitarist, his picking hand technique was amazing both in speed and precision. Good show but not really the setting that works best for their type of music. Fourth Rotor played next and did good, we heckled them a bit and the mood was good. Our show rocked, Hubert sang second vocals on "Ghosthealers and Stockholders" like he does on the record.
After the show I was all sweaty and craving for more beer when a dreadlocked girl approached me complimenting me on my mad skill on da bass, as well as my Judas Priest shirt and the Exodus sticker on my great battle axe of steel. She was into metal and horror movies so we got on pretty well. I didn't pay much attention to what the others did that night but just stayed up talking with her and yes, like I predicted I got extremely drunk. I heard the others did too, Kammy actually had to be carried to bed. I went to sleep at about seven in the morning. Some kids were in the room I slept in. They laughed at me.

Fri 27.5 Dresden, D @ AZ Conni

"Okular?"

I woke up to the kids making way too much noise. "Shut up you little pests! Grown ups are hungover!" I didn't say as I crawled to the next room to try to get some sleep. I did get a couple of hours more which still was not enough. Doug, who is a saint among men, got us cold water from the store. I don't know if he knows but he saved our lives. There was some breakfast made mainly out of salt and fat, it was very tasty but it actually made the hangover worse. It's funny how I always think I will try to live healthy on tour but get stuck in a vortex of alcohol, cigarettes and unhealthy food in a matter of days. (Actually now that I think about it, I seem to spend most of my time in said vortex. Goddamn I suck.)
Mikko and Shawn had slept elsewhere and taken the van to a mechanic who had finally fixed the alternator. We saw the biggest head of Karl Marx statue in the world before leaving Chemnitz, he looked pissed off. He probably has a good reason too. Julia, a girl from the show hopped on board and came to Dresden with us.
Ok, if any of our relatives or loved ones are reading this I ask you to please skip this chapter. It involves certain needs that lead to certain deeds. Skip it! I said skip it! Good... Because the next part is about MASTURBATING ON TOUR. Yes mom, it is now safe to turn off the computer. You know, in a touring situation you are always in the presence of other people and everyone is always aware of what the others are up to (performing on stage being a possible exception). Also, most of that time is spent making respectful observations about the physical qualities of certain representatives of the opposite sex, and sharing them with a bunch of drooling, horny, often borderline alcoholic, brainless pigs (read: the band). Yes, sexual encounters with actual women are possible but really happen only once in a blue moon, and even if you happen to meet someone cool there is usually no time to get to know them anyway. Besides, most of us are spoken for, so the right hand path is usually the only way to go. Some people are able to take a five minute shower, spank the monkey there and come out nicely relaxed. Some people on the other hand, like me, get a bit stressed and need some privacy to function properly. After more than a week without any outlets whatsoever I had to find a place. I'm talking about a porno booth, a friend of most traveling men. I got the reputation of an insane porn monger because of leaving to find one but I didn't care, I was quickly losing the shreds of sanity that were left in me. Ok, ok. I see that a lot of people find porn offensive and degrading, and I honestly can see good points on both sides of the debate. But say what you want, those movies have a lot of naked girls in them! So I found a booth, it was weird and demeaning (I actually had to choose a movie and bring it to the counter where they directed me into a booth) but at that point I felt no shame. I've seen better booths on my travels but after two hours of my porn locating instincts failing on me I had to settle on this one. It was weird to have this problem in Germany! They have booths at gas stations for dogs sake! The most shameful part of the booth experience is always walking out under the stares of the professional porn salesmen and women. This time was no exception. Especially since my "preview" of the movie lasted about fifty seconds.
Relieved, I got a falafel and returned to the venue where most of the day was spent lying on the grass trying to cure the hangover. Kammy had the worst one I guess but the rest of us weren't in best shape either. Except of course Mikko and Shawn, misters "we dont need alcohol to numb the dark crushing pain", who were all peachy. There was internet as well and we spent quite a bit of time in front of the computer as usual. The venue had funny graffitti all over but one in the internet room really took the cake: "A political lesbian revolution, the only realistic solution to the male punk pollution. KILL THE MALE GENDER!" It really made me think. Why are young white males so prevalent in the world of punk rock? Sexism? Racism? Ageism? Because they invented it? I don't know man, it's a mystery wrapped inside an enigma.
Alienacja were still without a car but had managed to get a ride to Dresden and we were trying to get them on the bill. The organizers weren't enthusiastic about it but eventually they got to play. They were much better than in Chemnitz because their style of music requires a decent pa which the Conni had. A touring german band also played, I forget their name. I think they were screamo. We went on tired as fuck but the show went ok and sounded good. Didn't catch Fourth Rotor since I had to take care of our Polish friends.
They had cancelled the rest of their tour because of the car breaking down and someone from Poland was there with another car and a towing cart for the broken one. The Polish guys were running all over the place trying to find all their stuff and I was going to drive them. At one point their bass player who didn't speak any english came up to me all agitated and asked "Errr... mmm..."(waves hands) "Ehhh... Are you flashlight?" I replied that I do not have one but Vellu might. He looked kind of puzzled, then made his fingers into rings which he put on his eyed and asked "Okular?". Yep, that's Vellu! Jussi, Julia and I left with them and took them to the car. They parked it in front of our van so we couldn't leave until they had attached the car to the towing cart and it took like two hours. After that they left around three o'clock at night, driving a car with no brakes, towing another car and they had a ten hour trip of mostly polish roads. I figured they were doomed. Oh yeah, all of Fourth Rotors stuff was in the van and we got lost on the way back. They weren't too happy when we finally got there. Jussi and Julia stayed outside, the last words I heard Jussi say before going to bed were along the lines of "Fuck... I can't take it... Nine days fucked up... Damn...". Jussi had been drinking and smoking heavily every night for nine days straight. He is younger than the rest of us and a big guy, but even he seemed to have his limits. I said good night to him and went to bed. Didn't get a lot of sleep, some tweeting birds kept me up.

Sat 28.5 Nurnberg, D @ Zentralkafe(K4)

Playing in a former nazi HQ

Jussi woke up in the yard about the same time I walked out. We had breakfast before leaving for Nurnberg where we were going to play with French Toast, featuring members of Nation of Ulysses and Fugazi. I think it was during this drive that I noticed that all the Aral gasstations have this cardboard guy advertising bathrobes. I started collecting pictures of him.
The venue was a huge building that used to be nazi headquarters, then a squat, now a cultural center. The backstage was catered and they had showers and shit. A welcome break from squatworld. After doing the soundcheck we made ourselves comfortable. I read the clubs guestbook which had some funny shit from bands we knew.
I didn't have the energy to check the city out, I stayed at the huge center until our show which was an early one and we were playing first. The turnout was a bit disappointing, we did well however aside from some technical problems with the drums. This time we were the odd band of the bunch, the only hardcore band on the bill. Then beer, showers, signing the clubs guestbook and sleep at one of the organizers place. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. I liked French Toasts quieter stuff but still couldn't really concentrate on their set and spent most of the time talking about nazis and the german left in the 30's with Doug, and drinking.

Sun 29.5 Giessen, D @ AK44

I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby

All I remember about the morning is the great breakfast in the courtyard of the K4. The drive to Giessen wasn't fun because I only found one Bathrobe Guy™ at the Aral gasstations! I took a picture with the Haribo man and two cook statues instead. Fuck those posers. It was grey and a bit rainy when we got to the AK44 after a couple hours drive. It was a long time until the show so we took our time to get some rest. The backstage was really big and the stage was perfect.
It was a good show for a sunday, a nice bunch of people showed up. The Rotors were first and did well. We were in fine form if I say so myself, musically it was one of the best shows of the tour. I think we did all our songs in one batch without breaks which was good. Also a few encores. We slept backstage in military bunks that were actually pretty comfortable. The others went to sleep pretty early while Jussi and I did our thang, drinking beer and listening to Iron Maiden.

Mon 30.5 Köln, D @ Mutze

If it's too loud, you're too young!

We were in Köln early. Jussi and I were studying for some entrance exams during the tour, and for once we had time to do that while Jake kept asking us to go for a beer with him. For once we didn't. The promoter showed up and we unloaded into a midsized room with a drum riser. They also had a cafe in the building and a pa I wouldn't use to listen to records through, let alone have a punk rock show. It was almost impossible to make the vocals audible and the soundman (who had apparently never done this before) kept telling us to turn it down, as we were already playing at half the usual volume. We told him that our drummer doesn't have a volume button and he, along with the girl working at the cafe tried to assure us that if we played so loud, the cops would stop the show. "Man, if the fucking pigs show up I swear to god I'm breaking the toilet!" I replied. That must've puzzled them quite a bit but they didn't say anything. We explained that if we pull all the heavy curtains of the venue out, and people show up, it will affect the volume as well. It was a really weird situation, apparently they put on shows regularly! Whatever, we were gonna play as loud as usual anyway.
We got an insane meal at one of the organizers place, sehr gut! It was pretty close so we walked there and back. A local band was opening the show and I guess the crowd had come mostly because of them. They were emo and the crowd seemed that way too. So we started our soundcheck by jamming on the Cure, Dinosaur jr. and other more mellow stuff before we proceeded with the thrash, hoping to tear their heads off (as Shawn put it). We had attached the monitors (that were there basically to separate the band from the audience) to the pa cabinets and the vocals were a bit louder, Shawn was working the mixing table. We did an ok show aside from some problems with the equipment. I couldn't tell if the crowd was into it or not. Hell, I couldn't tell if I was into it or not. A run of the mill show I guess. Our setlist wasn't very well thought out and we tried some new things that didn't work that well.
The place had a shitload of beer that we didn't wanna drink right there but Jake and I decided to take some for a bad day. We all stayed at the same place but I had to sleep in the van to make sure no one breaks into it. I was lying there wondering what I would actually do if some people decided to do so, eventhough the area was safe and the chances of it happening were extremely low. Imagine a bunch of german thugs breaking the window and finding a fat, slightly drunk, blonde finnish guy inside, wearing nothing but his underwear saying: "Freeze pal! Step back and put your hands on your head. Don't try anything funny man!" Eventually I fell asleep.

Tue 31.5 Braunshweig, D

An ok show

I walked to the apartment to take a shower. While there I noticed something unique: the place was decorated with flags of Israel, and in the hallway they had big flags of the US, Britain and the Soviet Union. You see, the German left are largely very pro-Israel because they see being against them as anti-semitic. They were also very supportive of the allied bombing Dresden in the second world war because the nazis are against it and it helped, in their view, defeating the nazi regime. They had posters with pictures of allied WW2 bombers dropping their firebombs and "Thank you!" written under them. The guy living there explained that "Dresden was fucked up anyway", when we asked him about it. Don't get me wrong, the people were really nice there and as long as they're cool people I don't care what their politics are, it was just very unusual to find pro-Israel leftwing punks.
We ate and left. After driving for a couple of hours we arrived in Braunschweig and found the Venue easily. The Nexus was a place where they had shows regularly, it had one bigger hall and a cafe which is where we played. It was an ok show with about 30 people, luckily the space was tiny. They seemed into it. Fourth Rotor did very well, we did ok too. Went to sleep pretty early after a few beers and gawking at the prettiest girl of the tour. At least in my opinion.

Wed 01.6 Berlin, D @ Köpi

Ah, Berlin! One of my favorite places. The venue was on the edge of Kreuzberg which is the punk capital of europe, among other things! So we left Braunschweig early, with Manowar blaring on the stereo, to get to spend as much time in Berlin as possible.
We found the venue, a basement bar in a huge squat easily, partly thanks to the navitron 2000 and partly to the fact that it was an area some of us were familiar with. The squat looked really run down on the outside but the interior was nice. The place had a pretty big club as well but we played the bar which was better for us. A US band from Portland, Oregon called Dead Like Dallas was playing as well. But first we took a walk around the city. We split into groups. Doug, Kammy and Shawn went to see sights, Vellu slept in the van while Mikko, Jussi, Jake and I just walked around. We found a record store, a Gestapo museum and Checkpoint Charlie, all of which I had been to before but that's ok. We sat at a bar called Trinkteufel for a while before going back to the club to eat and unload.
The place was pretty full when we started the show. Aside from a broken bass string it went smoothly. After that we went to get some Jägermeister and beer with a finnish woman named Minna, who lived at the squat and turned out to be the little sister of Tino who used to sing for the legendary finnish band Unicef. We returned just as the Rotors were finishing their set and proceeded to empty the Jägermeister in about half an hour with Jussi and Vellu. Vellu was coming up with a fever so we suggested drinking as a cure, it worked too! Next day he was fine! Johanna, his girlfriend showed up eventually and they were off, as well as the rest of our crew. Johanna was touring with her band Confusa and we were going to finish the tour with them. Jussi and I stayed at the squat while the others left for the sleeping place.

Thu 02.06 Roskilde, DK @ Paramount DIY

Another band joins the tour

Ow. I hit my head on something. It was a bench in the van, I had been sleeping with my head under it. In front of me, on the floor, was a half eaten falafel bread and behind that was a sleeping Jussi. I was still drunk, I'm willing to bet he was too. We had stayed up drinking very late, I had gone to sleep in the van and Jussi had shown up later after noticing that the place he wanted to sleep in at the squat reeked. I finished the falafel and the others showed up pretty soon to load the van. We got more falafels and lemonade before leaving Berlin.
The drive was the longest of the tour which totally rocked. We also made a very bad decision regarding the route so it took even longer. Nothing like curing a hangover in a hot van with too many people and the backline in it! There was a short ferry ride to Denmark, I drove after that. On the German side I also got one last picture with the Bathrobe Guy™. I miss that crazy bastard!
We got to Roskilde pretty late. There was a thunderstorm and rain was pouring down. The rest of Confusa were already there, with their drivers Rurik and Pia. I had never heard them before but knew they were a new girlband from Finland on their first tour. So the show was one local band, Confusa, Fourth Rotor, us. The place was crowded with pretty young kids and it looked really cool so I was excited despite being a bit tired. I had been looking forward to this show, especially since our last one in Denmark had been so good. (A year earlier in Copenhagen, jumping on a show at the Ungdomshuset.) The crowd got bigger and bigger and the local band started. I was lying in the van listening to the rain. How emo, yet refreshing!
Confusa played next. I knew most of the people in the band and was curious to see them. They fucking blew me away, not to mention most of the crowd! I was really positively surprised by their songs and energy, not to mention their unapologetic and unpretentious stage presence. It was impossible to watch without smiling like a dork all the time. Wow, the most positive surprise of the tour right there!
The Rotors did well but were too much for most of the young crowd, who seemed to be there because they serve alcohol to minors anyway... Our show was so bad it made me depressed. We left pretty soon, slept at a house a couple of kilometres away.

Fri 03.06 Stockholm, SE @ Alkatzar

T.I.R

Shawn was leaving so we had to take him to the Kastrup airport. The goodbyes were short and to the point. Vellu was riding with Confusa so Kaisa, their other singer was with us.
How to describe the drive through southern Sweden? Better leave it at that. Just not describe it at all. Jake says gas stations are neutral areas, when you're at one you're not really anywhere. They're the same the world over. Aside from German Aral™ stations, which feature the Bathrobe Guy™, I agree with him.
The club in Stockholm is at the bottom of a very steep hill which makes unloading, and especially loading back in, a bit difficult. The venue hosts mostly punk and garage shows but is so clean you could actually eat stuff off the floor if you wanted to. That's Sweden for ya! The sound system is perfect, the soundmen very professional and the backstage has showers.
If you know anything about Finnish punk you'll know that there is quite a bit of animosity towards our western neighbor there. The reason is that touring bands, unless really big, have had a notoriously hard time getting shows in Sweden. Either that or they get cancelled at the last minute. So we weren't expecting much from tonight. Confusa played first and it seemed like everyone loved them. They were on fire though, even better than in Roskilde. Fourth Rotor had an awful show with technical problems and what not. We rocked the place and ended up selling more records than anywhere else! In Sweden!
I used my drink tickets and started to get in the mood for some... more! Walking to the backstage I heard that it had been decided that we will split into two groups: the sleepy van which was headed to our hosts place, and the party van which was to drive to the harbor and wait for the ferry while the passengers of said van get stinking drunk. I will not insult your intelligence by mentioning which one I chose.
So there we were, at the harbor two o'clock at night. Six-seven hours until the boat leaves. Present were the two singers and the bass player of Confusa, Pia, Jussi, Jake and me. The van was full of beer, Jägermeister and wine, Jussis Ipod was hooked to the car stereo, blaring punk rock at searing volumes. It was a perfect way to end the foreign dates of the tour. No real stories, we just had a lot of fun. Good times.
We eventually almost missed the boat because the others were way late and there was a mixup with the tickets. By the time I stepped out of the van the ship had already left the pier, luckily we were inside! Talk about last minute!

Sun 05.06 Turku, FI @ TVO

The day Vellu told me to take a shower

I woke up in a cabin at about 3 pm. I stuffed my face full of pills and left looking for the others. When I found them even Vellu told me to take a shower. Before that a lot of my copassengers had been visibly amused by my appearance. What's the deal, I thought dirty hair pointing in all directions and red eyes, combined with Quasimodos posture were hip?
The ferry sucked and I was glad to get out. The show was in Turku, a city where I used to live and at a venue where I have played so many times that I've lost count. And I knew that sunday shows weren't going to be crowded there. I was thinking maybe five people would show up but actually 23 did! The place was still totally empty but we did make gas money.

Mon 06.06 Helsinki, Fi @ Vuoritalo

Home sweet home

Woke up at home. We had driven from Turku to Helsinki during the night, it was pretty late when we got here but worth it. So back to normal life, which in my case means an unorganized mess of band stuff, studying, bits and pieces of work here and there, hanging out in cafes/pubs and drinking. So that was my day, running all over the place to take care of stuff and meet a bunch of friends. After that I went to Mikko's place where the Rotors had been in the sauna again. We had beers and headed to Vuoritalo.
It was monday but a good bunch of people showed up. Confusa didn't get the reaction they did elsewhere which caused Vellu to yell "You're lamer than the swedes!" at the crowd during a break between songs. This amused the band who did a good show anyway. Fourth Rotor were in great form and the crowd was into them. Our show was one of the best of the tour, the crowd just went ape and we gave it 110%. What a great way to end the tour!
After that we still had a mission to accomplish: get the yanks stinking drunk so they won't leave Finland sober! Kaisa volunteered to have the afterparty at her place and most of us, with the exception of Mikko, were all for it. We bought about sixty beers and ciders from the venue and drove to her place. Everyone stayed up very late. I celebrated quitting smoking by smoking too much. (Update november 2005: Yeah, I started smoking again)
In the morning we were supposed to go to a restaurant with the Rotors but when Mikko showed up I couldn't even walk. I said bye to Doug and Kammy, Jake had left with Jussi at 5 am. It's a shame I couldn't make it but a man has his limits. Mikko had asked if I had actually quit smoking, Dougs reply was: "Well, I saw him wake up, crawl somewhere and pass out again. And he wasn't smoking."
The day was one of the worst of my life, I met a friend in the centrum who worked at an ice cream booth. I ended up puking in the booths toilet.
Well, that's it! A nice tour again with great bands and new friends. We formed an overseas project with Jake and Jussi called Canadian Rifle and we'll be rocking both sides of the pond for a couple of shows. Someday.

Lasse

* So some of the things I've wrote in this diary might be interpreted as being ungrateful or mocking towards the diy scene or the people involved with making this tour possible. That is not my intention. Anyone who puts up a show for us, cooks for us, lets us stay at their place or comes to see us totally rocks. Period. But being on tour is also a pretty absurd situation, a whole different world from the one I live in back home. You're tired all the time, the places change yet stay the same, you are at the mercy of the local promoters, and nobody speaks your language. Back home I have my own roomy and comfortable flat. Nazis do not attack it very often. I don't own a dog, let alone ten. I lead a pretty safe and uneventful "life". So what I've done is try to point out the differences, those reoccuring oddities that make touring fun and exciting. It's all in good humour, the clash of my middle class background and the punk underground of europe or something. Send your hatemail to me, not the band.